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It brings me no comfort to think of the place of my birth. My parents were doctors by trade, and lived a guarded life even compared to the rest of our cowering kin; my childhood home was the last port of call for the most desperately sick, those for whom the family magics were their only hope of succor. For many it was not enough. I knew the stench of death long before the soldiers came.
Even our traders spoke of the outside world in hushed words, a fearful place that would never accept us, where we could never speak of our history. Some would return robbed and beaten. Some would not return at all. Yet many times I wished I could stow away in the back of a merchant's cart, let myself be carried off to a distant village with what little else we had worth selling. Would that I could be anywhere but here, I thought, even when I believed it was a hopeless fantasy...
Even our traders spoke of the outside world in hushed words, a fearful place that would never accept us, where we could never speak of our history. Some would return robbed and beaten. Some would not return at all. Yet many times I wished I could stow away in the back of a merchant's cart, let myself be carried off to a distant village with what little else we had worth selling. Would that I could be anywhere but here, I thought, even when I believed it was a hopeless fantasy...
[ It happens in a blink; Louis reaches for his ink and finds his pen absent from his hand, his chair no longer beneath him. He's standing, halfway across the floor of the study – it is the study, and yet it isn't. He is not in the same space he was a moment ago.
And he is not alone. The book he had just been writing in – he can see the glisten of the still wet ink – sits open on the desk beneath a pair of pale, slender hands. The seat he had been sitting in is occupied by a figure in simple dark robes, warm black eyes peering up at him searchingly from an achingly familiar face.
Louis had thought it a dying dream, the first time. The shimmering glimpses in the corner of his eye could have been a lack of sleep, or some lingering aftereffect of his transformation on the frayed edges of his mind. The boy king had thought differently of Louis's delirious ramblings, so Junah has said, but all he had had to offer for his suspicions was this drudgery, declaring Louis's sentence as prisoner to write a story no one would ever care to read. And yet— ]
You—
[ —damn him, he had known more than he ought.
Louis's mouth feels oddly dry. He feels underdressed, somehow, clad in plain garments of his own – white, as has always been his preference, but similar in their artless cut to More's own. He should be resplendent and unbroken before him, of all people, facing this specter with dignity.
Yet he's never felt more like the tongue-tied elda boy of twenty years ago than he does when he meets More's eyes. ]
—you cling to this world yet.